A fellow turns to his friend and says, “Have you heard that vegans have really poor eyesight?”

“Oh,” his friend replies. “I suppose that’s from some nutritional deficiency?”

“Nope. It’s because they spend so much time reading the fine print on ingredient lists.”

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Vegans! Stop reading and start eating! You don’t need to read a long complicated ingredient list for possibly animal-derived ingredients like stearic acid, gum base, and the ubiquitous and mysterious “natural flavors.” One way to ensure that you are only eating cruelty-free foods is by only buying things that are marked with the Certified Vegan Logo… Or, uh, you could eat more whole fruits and vegetables, right?

So go forth, DC*Vegans, to your many area farmer’s markets, and buy fruits and vegetables! Yes, it can often be a little more expensive to buy local and independent, but if you are flexible and friendly, you can also get some great deals! I made good friends with a few farmers at the Brookland Farmer’s Market last year and reaped some serious benefits. My market tips:

1) Go with an open mind. If you don’t already have a set menu, you can choose the freshest produce available and base your week’s cooking on whatever you buy. There is a greater supply of fruits and vegetables that are in season, so therefore they should be the ripest, the tastiest, and theoretically a bit less expensive.

2) Ask for a deal at the end of the day. The farmers don’t want to schlep that stuff back home! If you are willing to take a large quantity, your farmer will likely give you a good deal. My neighbors have gotten a chuckle more than once watching me lug home a 40-pound box of tomatoes on my bike, but man, what a bargain!

3) Choose something new and different. Your farmer will likely give you a taste if you ask for it, so don’t be afraid to buy something you’ve never had before. My farmer offered me a sample of Concord grapes last autumn and suggested I make grape jelly… So why not? I bought three boxes for the price of two, took ‘em home, and made my first homemade jelly.

4) Get to know your grower. It is really special to be familiar with the hands who planted and nurtured your vegetables, but you can also get a bargain this way. Being a repeat customer and having a friendly face makes you more likely to get you a discount. Go often, introduce yourself, and tell your farmer what you made with the produce you bought from her last week– she will appreciate it!

5) Ask about “seconds.” These are fruits and vegetables that aren’t quite perfect; perhaps they have bruises, dents, or rough spots. But if you are willing to cut off the bad spots and process them ASAP, you can make a lot of great things! I am especially fond of tomatoes for sauces, purees, and gazpacho, but I’ve also bought lots of fruits to make applesauce, sorbets, and smoothies.

6) Bring your own bags. Duh. Not only is it a no-brainer for living green, but some farmers now charge for bags, so bring your own canvas or cloth bags along with some plastic bags for the wet or dirty stuff. In fact, bring a few extra plastic bags for your neighbor who forgot to bring his cloth bags!

Be sure to check the Washington Post’s list of 2009 Farmer’s Markets to find the closest market to you. And go shop!

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So why did the vegan cross the road?

Well, if she crossed Florida Avenue at 1st St. NW on Sunday morning, it was to go to the Bloomingdale Farmer’s Market, but errr, I think the funnier response is: Because she was protesting for the chicken, MAN! (Pump fist in air for emphasis)

Seriously, I’m a sucker for ridiculous humor…
Point your browser to Vegetus and Happy Cow for more veg*n jokes. Tee hee!